


Kill. Wipe. Freeze. Repeat.

by pepperBubble



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 12:45:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4222194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperBubble/pseuds/pepperBubble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was the life he had always lived; to complete his mission, have his memory wiped, and be put back into the cryotube until he was needed for his next mission. </p><p> </p><p>Or so he thought...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kill. Wipe. Freeze. Repeat.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay a little warning before we go on; though it's not bad enough I need to make a warning for it, there is a part where Bucky is screaming out for Steve because of what is happening to him. It's not explicitly stated what's happening to him but one can gather what is indeed happening to him if they look into it. There is also another part where he is being punished for acting in a way he wasn't suppose to. 
> 
> Of course I'm not going to go into detail of what's happening to him, but if from what I write you feel that it should be checked as an archive warning or at least mentioned in the tags then please let me know. What I think may be alright to put into a fic could make someone else very uncomfortable, and I don't want people feeling like this when reading my work.

This had always been his life. At least that's what he used to think. He always thought his main purpose in life was to do the dirty work of the men who had created him, he was only woken up when a mission needed to be completed and he had to get it done in under twenty-four hours lest he wanted to be punished. 

There would never be a failure, he would always succeed. What would he get in return? His memories wiped back into the cryotube he was sent until he was woken up for his next mission. Sometimes he would be awakened after only a short time in the tube, other times it would be years before he next awoke, there would be new faces during those times but he never asked any questions. He would wait for his mission and complete it; get in, get out, nobody will ever be able to clearly see him. With every successful mission he earned himself the reputation of becoming a legend, earning himself the title of a ghost and being christened the Winter Soldier.

Not that he would ever know. All he would ever know was being sent out with a mission to complete, to then come back to have his memory wiped and be put away until he was needed again. Or so he thought.

_"Sergeant Barnes"_

There are little things which set him off; certain noises, smells, the colour of a person's hair or their body build. Sometimes they're usually small and skinny, other times they're tall and well built, but they are always blonde. It's the sound of a train however which makes him freeze. It's the sound of a train that has almost cost him a mission failure numerous times.  

 _"Take my hand!"_  

It's always the same man. He's tall, well built, and had blonde hair. He's wearing a uniform and is always reaching out for somebody, calling their name and shouting at them to grab their hand. They're on a train and the soldier is always the one hanging out of it. The picture fades by then but the man reaching out for the soldier is seen getting smaller and smaller and the soldier thinks it's him who always ends up screaming. 

It is this reoccurring memory which always seems to haunt him. He's not so sure if it's a memory of his or whether it's a memory from something he witnessed on a previous mission and the man was reaching out to try and save a target the soldier had been sent to kill. With the continuous memory wipe after each and every mission, the soldier was never sure anymore if what he was seeing was a dream or a reality. The only thing he could take from this was that he had to be careful; if this was a weakness of his, he couldn't let it show. If this was his weakness, he had to be careful to avoid being punished for almost failing a mission. 

_"You are to be the new face of HYDRA"_

Arnim Zola was the only face that the solider was probably able to fully recognise. This was a man who had been there from his very creation, the man who had given the soldier his distinct metal arm- the arm that was more powerful than any gun or knife the soldier would have to use. It was Zola who had molded him into becoming the weapon that he was today.

 

 

_A scream rips through the compound as men set to work on him. The screams had become all too common, the pain and fear being heard in just one of them is enough for anybody to know what was happening without the need for words. Numerous times they had tried silence him with gags, tried to sedate him, but he was far more powerful than they thought and no matter what they did, he just couldn't be silenced. So accustomed they had become to his pain, they no longer cared nor attempted anything to take it away from him._

_"Steve" he would cry out. For every moment he wasn't screaming he was always crying out for Steve. He would always cry out for Steve and would wait, wait for him to answer his calls and come save him. He never came._

_"Steve! Steve please, help me! Please!"_

_He would always end up sobbing, even crying. The time he spent tied where he wasn't being worked on he spent crying, screaming out for a man who would never come to get him and he didn't know why. All he wanted was to be saved from this hell he found himself trapped in, from this torture, and the only person who was able to save him never did._

 

The name Steve eventually became nothing to the soldier. It may have meant something to him sometime in the past, but now it had become foreign. If he heard the name, he never felt indifferent; it was probably the name of someone has was ordered to kill, maybe the son, or father, or brother. The name meant nothing to him. 

Whoever he was previously, that had been taken away. If he had a life before this, how was he supposed to remember? HYDRA had taken that identity away from him; they broke him down molded him into someone they could use, manipulate, take away his basic rights as a human being and turn him into an animal they could use for their own pleasure. Whatever he may have been before is nothing compared to what he is now. 

 

_The sound of a smack resonates throughout the room. All who are present are stood in silence. The newest project for HYDRA sits down in silence, if there was any pain from the hand that had connected to his cheek seconds ago, he doesn't show it._

_"I really hate to have to do this to you, but you leave me with no choice"_

_Though the man responsible for the smack across the cheek says this, he doesn't sound as guilty as he tries to put across. The test subject says nothing, experience has taught him that showing no reaction and giving no reply is better than anything. He sits there as people within the room watch. Zola is stood to the side, setting up something though the test subject does not try to look or try to guess what it is. Scenes like these were now too common and he knew what to expect._

_"We give clear instructions, if you follow them it will make your life easier and if you don't... well, that's why we're here now isn't it?" the man continues, being handed a file where he flicks through what are undoubtedly notes about the test subject; they've been watching him for some time now, checking to see if he is becoming a success or is on track to becoming a failure._

_"Who is this man Steve you keep calling out for?"_

_Something within the test subject flutters, but he oppresses the feeling, making sure he doesn't show any reaction towards the name._

_"I don't know", the response is monotone, cold, like they all expect him to be_

_"But we have proof here that on numerous occasions, particularly throughout the night, you have been heard calling out for him. Now, I am sure that we have told you plenty of times that there is nobody here by this name and there is nobody you have come across before who goes by this name. Yet you keep calling for him. So I shall ask you one last time; who is this Steve you keep calling for?"_

_This is a test and the subject knows it. This is not the first time they have done this to him and he knows by now what the correct answer should be, he knows how to keep everybody satisfied, to show them he's turning into the monster they are creating._

_"I don't know" he responds, the same flat and dead voice, emotionless. This time his answer seems to please those around him. He has passed this test._

_"We believe you" the man begins before sighing "But as you know, you've broken one of the rules. I hate to do this to you, but rules are not made to be broken, I'm afraid you shall have to be punished"_

_With one single movement of his hand a group of five men come forward to prepare the subject for his punishment. This is no different to the previous times, he expects this to happen, yet it's the rapid rise and fall of his chest which is what gives him away. It shows that there is still some fear left inside of him which can never be taken away._

_He's strapped in so that he can't escape, counting down the seconds until Zola initiates his punishment. It's not long before his cries are once again heard throughout the compound._

 

Human can be changed. They can be made to be great or destroyed to fall. They can be pushed to the edge and broken down to be rebuilt into something they are not supposed to be. Humans can be changed but it's what remains inside of them that can never be touched. It can be suppressed, but it's only a matter of time before it fights back and shows that those who have been battered and bruised beyond their capacity can eventually remember who they truly are, who they were before, and fight for a better future. 

 

 

The Winter Soldier has taken his place. On a street as busy as this, he needs to be careful. When his target arrives, he'll only have seconds to act and escape before anybody can see him. 

The target is not due for another forty minutes, this is all the time the soldier will need to decide what weapon he will need to use, what is the quickest escape route he will be able to use, what will stop other people from seeing him. 

The atmosphere around the area is buzzing, all the people are talking about is the recent alien attack on New York. They speak of a team calling themselves The Avengers. They celebrate the return of one of the world's first superheroes; the one and only Captain America, the one and only Steve Rogers. 

The soldier hears everything that is said, a number of times he hears the name Steve Rogers being spoken. He pauses for a moment to reflect on the name, something inside of him stirs but he ignores it and gets himself into position. His target has arrived early, and it's time for the Winter Soldier to kill once again... 


End file.
